I loved "Friends". I loved the humour - silly sarcasm and gentle wit, but like most people I guess I also like the picture of adult friendships that it painted. Supportive, loving, open, honest and fun. Ah yes.

Womens mags and the press in general like to paint an equally rosy picture of the friendships between women; how your pals are there for you even when your job is shite, your children rubbish and your husband a bastard. I haven't had such a jolly experience myself and would almost prefer the matey, superficial but basically unchallenging friendships that men have. Beers, chat about footy, a moan about your job - see you next week. Nothing much given away, no vulnerabilities exposed.

I have moved around a bit; the last decade has seen me obliged to leave behind friends and try to make new ones several times over. With children and babies as a prop it was relatively easy to drift into friendships in the playground or in the baby gym group. My babies are now gangly adolescents and I have no idea how you make friends when you are in your 40's. Women often seem to shy away from me when I make overtures, as if they have enough friends already and can't afford to take on anymore. So attending night school or whatever doesn't help, as your fellow classmates are taken, as it were.
Old friends that I left behind on my travels are busy with more recent confidantes, made while I was away. I have tried always to remain loyal - I kept up the mail, the phone calls and the e-mail but there is no denying that out of sight is out of mind.

I don't work at the moment and this in the UK is a huge disadvantage to your sociability too - first off, a lot of people in their 30's and 40's socialise almost exclusively with their work colleagues, secondly not working almost invalidates you as a person in the eyes of your peers - you can't talk about work, or how busy you are or how crazy life is because you are not part of that culture. It is exceedingly lonesome being different.

I am lonely and when I read about how fabulous women friends are, I feel even lonelier.